Add One More Conundrum to the Universe

As many of you know, the Large Hadron Collider under the French/Swiss border is starting to fire up. While nothing has actually been collided yet, many are already breathing a sigh of relief that the world hasn't ended (yet). The point of this machine is to help scientists unravel the mysteries of the universe and somehow make it apply to out daily lives (public funding here people). Even if they don't find anything very useful out of it, how many people do YOU know who helped build the biggest and most awesome particle gun in the world? Nobody? Didn't think so.

I however, think I could put all these scientists to better use. I am currently take donations to fund the WTHHTMCW Project. It will attract the finest minds from all corners of the earth, under the management of someone so awesome, that people bow to him in his presence (I'd rather not name myself here, my humility is at stake). Funding will be purely by donation, and the work will be done via tasers and whips so that I won't have to actually pay anyone. Welcome to the.....

What
The
Hell
Happened
To
My
Car
Window

Project.

The mystery is this: I was cleaning out my car, and using rubbing alcohol to clean the inside of my windows (works wonders). Due to the fumes, I naturally opened all the windows. I realized that I still had some things on my back seat, so I opened the left-rear door to take the stuff out. The door was more stiff than usual, and as I was thinking "What the..?" The window totally shattered inside the door. That's right, SHATTERED.





I have no idea how it happened, and neither did the repair guys. All I know is that is set me back about 200$ :(

Why I Should be King of the World

I would like to talk for a moment about something that is very lacking in society, and that is sedatives.

My first experience with a sedative that I can remember was just this last January when I had my surgery. I was sitting on the bed anxiously waiting to get a needle in my arm or something to knock me out before going under the knife. The doctor looked at me and said "you're going to feel a little prick". I noticed that he didn't have a needle in his hand, so I was a little confused. I then felt a needle go right into the top of my spine suddenly. "Woah! what are you doin.........wait.....that feels AWESOME!". Suddenly my body felt lighter, I had no pain, and everything was blissful. They couldn't have injected very much into me yet, probably only a few milliliters (for those of you who don't know metric, a milliliter is half a pound). Life was great, and then they gassed me until I was unconscious.

I've been wondering lately about how nice it would be if we had tranquilizers like that on hand to nail people who were getting a little too agitated or upset. They're then in a state where they could possibly be reasoned with (I say possibly because getting too much can kill you, and it's rather hard to compromise with a corpse). Think about it, cops wouldn't have to zap you with tazers anymore. All you'd feel is a prick, and then you'd be surrounded by 10 policemen with guns drawn and find yourself wondering "I wonder if those guns will shoot flower petals at me".

So why all this talk about sedatives you ask?

There were a bunch of idiots on the road yesterday.